Where to begin?? So many amazing things that GOD is doing and teaching us both in this season! While that has always been true - for that is Who He is! - it seems more true now than it has ever been. Extraordinary, really! In this time of stripping back the layers of all that is not Him, He has been reminding us anew about everything that IS Him...As ever, His kindness and love are both breathtaking and staggering in both scope and form. There simply are not enough words to describe His goodness…I find myself telling Kevin this daily, it seems.
WELCOME TO THE DESERT
Almost from our very arrival to (and in!) the desert, it became clear that GOD had a plan for us that went far beyond the ministry and understanding that we thought we knew. It seems along the way we had picked up habits, frameworks, paradigms and systems that - while seemingly "wise" and reflective of both Him and our heart to be "good" stewards of all that He had entrusted to us both physically and spiritually - turned out to be not only incorrect, but actually (and actively!) being more of the world than of the GOD we professed to love and serve. It seems that in trying to honor Him the very best way that we knew how, we actually were working against Him and His ways in many instances...
BACK TO SCRIPTURE
We lamented! We studied! We spent hours and hours pouring over His Word trying to understand what happened...How did we miss Him so spectacularly and for so long?? What did we miss? When did we allow the things of the world to creep in so profoundly into the Church and what was our culpability for the place that we now found ourselves? Were we victims of people? Were we duped? Or worse, were we so distracted by our own agendas and hearts' deception that we simply and plainly failed to see where GOD was - and worse - where He was not?
THE FOG BEGINS TO CLEAR
Oh, how our hearts ached! We ROARED IN THE DESERT as GOD stripped away all that was fake and contrived and counterfeit, exposing the fraud, the lies and the sin that has somehow woven itself around and amidst the fruit of GOD HIMSELF. We re-evaluated our motives, our lives, our hearts, our calling in light of this discovery that perhaps all that we had held dear was, in fact, a lie...When did we allow our worldly desires, our need to be known, seen, important and "moved" at a heart level to become more important than knowing the LORD and SAVIOR of the Bible - not for what He could do for us (i.e. bring us, make us feel, validate us or our calling), but for HIM and HIM alone?!? When did we allow "best practices" and "numbers" and "signs and wonders" to supersede and eclipse the Truth of the Gospel and Him known for His sake - not ours? Looking across the so-called Christian landscape we suddenly saw things in a new light and we were horrified, appalled and found ourselves weeping as we were utterly stunned by the level of our own ignorance - and worse - culpability. In our search for GOD we had somehow, shockingly and stunningly missed Him entirely in many profound and real ways. We were shown that we missed Him because we were too self absorbed, too trusting of systems, and too dependent on feeling moved in our own hearts and feeling the pleasure and approval of our fellow man, MORE THAN GOD Himself. To put it plainly, we were still far more important than GOD was in our hearts, lives and supposed "callings". Oh, how we grieved!
WHERE DO WE GO FROM HERE?
How did we miss something so shockingly and appallingly obvious?? And how long had this been going on? Were we innocent victims that just got swept up into something bigger than ourselves and simply lost sight of the GOD of the Bible- or had we never actually been following Him in the first place? Suddenly and urgently, this is what we had to know and determine above everything - and everyone - else. The answer to this would determine what our next steps were to be and, truly, how we were going to move and to be and to follow Him from here on out - wherever and whatever the cost. And so the journey to follow deeper still began...